The search

I kept searching.

Searching for something to fill up that chipped edge to make it useful again.

I mean, I need to feel useful again.

I kept searching.

Searching, "me".

Want more juice?

Too diplomatic a blog post, you think?

Haha.

Well, things can get a little juicier if you like it that way!

Be right back, stay tune. :)

Compounded facebook status

Just a short 25 mins walk from 1 Utama to my home, so many just ran through my mind. One after another like train containers dashing by my vision.

I was at so much irritation.

If I were to have a device with my to tweet or to update my fb status, your news feed wall would have been spammed with all my rubbish.

Now I compile all my thoughts here, so then I won't flood your news feed wall. hehe.

Update: (this one was when I was still in 1 Utama)
Why was I (kinda) waiting for that DJ to walk by? HAHAHAHAH. No, I am actually concentrating in reading this book. Hmmm. Concentrate.

Update:
I get very ultra irritated when I have to wait, yet I am always late. How ironic.

Update:
8/10 times when I say 'I wanna run today', it will definitely rain. Like today. T_T

Update:
I used to be cash-rich. I want to be like that again. very very much. I really hate how I am right now. =(

Update:
I wonder what job should I be in to make me feel very happy because now I get irritated and grumpy often because of my job. -.- Luckily I am leaving alone, no one I can complain to nor hear me complain.

Update:
Bloody hell. Wolf-whistling is not a form of compliment. So please STFU, if not I POTONG you.

Update:
The security guards that I meet everyday, besides saying hi or hello to me, sometimes they like tell me to: Beli kereta la. Seeing that I can only walk everyday to wherever I want to go. Even the guards from office, who watches the traffic for me, sometimes ask me to drive to work, cos usually, by the time I reach office, my shirt would be already wet and I'll be busy wiping my sweat off. I mean they are asking out of kindness, but WHY ARE THEY MAKING OWNING A CAR LIKE SUCH AN EASY THING? u mean no need money one is it. T_T Why don't they own a car then?

Okay, enough rubbish in 25mins I think.

I update some happy thing soon! ;)

Broadband! But....

I happily went to register for a Maxis mobile broadband.

My face didn’t reflect how I felt, but you don’t know how happy I was, finally getting internet from my squarish little room after a month of disconnection from the cyber world.

After getting the broadband, I was so excited I decided to buy bread back home to munch on as dinner and start going online! ;)

Like I seriously, can’t wait! My journey back home doesn’t seem to be any shorter. I want to reach home quick and go online RIGHT AWAY.

I plug in and took a deep breath and pray hard there would be strong coverage from home. I signed up before for my home in Penang, and it was really slow especially since my house is on a higher-ground.



But so much to my dismay.

I tried and tried and the connection seemed to be running only on EDGE! CAN U BELIEVE IT? EDGE! AT THIS ERA, INTERNET CONNECTION THAT RUNS ON EDGE ON A COMPUTER CAN COMMIT SUICIDE ALRDY!

Webpage won’t load. Msn won’t sign in. The line keep getting disconnected.

I call the help centre, followed the instructions, and the problems still persist.

Like seriously? Give me a break!

I was so angry I gave a few punch on my poor thigh. Hahahaha. Self-torture funny shit. I even wanted to pull my hair already. LOL. Cos I cannot scream what, my housemates probably would think they are living with a psycho! I need to find ways to vent my anger, so I thought that’s the best and the easiest access. Hahahaha.

Then I dived onto my bed angrily and then...fell asleep. I’ve been having really bad sleeping problems recently I don’t know why. I just slept in the car when I went out for interview-photoshoot task with my colleague. I slept when I was going towards the place and slept again when we were coming back. And then I came back home, it wasn’t even near bed time, I fell asleep again.

Haha. Why do I have piggish syndrome. Geees.

Oh, wait. This is supposed to be a story about my Maxis mobile broadband!

When I woke up, things still didn’t work. T_T so then I was typing an angry sms on my phone, typed until like 3 pages somemore. Haha. Just as I want to press the send button, I HEARD THE FAMILIAR SIGNING IN TUNE OF MSN!

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW HAPPY I WAS!

Then the browsers still won’t work la. But then again, at least something finally work right!

So I call the centre again. Apparently I was already connected to the High Speed network or something but it needs time to sync etc, and he said tomorrow will be a better day for my broadband! Woohoooo!

I can’t wait! ;)

The 4th Week

Huuu. So this is the fourth week I have been in KL.

KL is actually the general term people would refer to the state Selangor la, which is geographically, incorrect.

So more precisely, I’m in Petaling Jaya.

Even more precisely, I stay/work/eat/run/play/sleep/sing/wake up at the city called Bandar Utama. When I moved in here, I knew from the landlord that he himself doesn’t provide internet at the house I am staying, but the other housemates do subscribe their own internet, so I was thinking maybe I can share!

Hah! So happy I won’t have to live without internet! Because when I am at home, literally, I would be online all the time. Even if I’m pooing I will live my internet on.

Okay, maybe I should actually use other examples than pooing.

But then yes, so how can I lead a balanced lifestyle, when my highly dependent element is not there right?

BUT I SURVIVED IT! To almost a month already! How miraculous!

It was of course hard, for such a big switch in life. Hahaha. Also, especially when your company’s internet is as slow as the tortoise competing in The Rabbit and The Tortoise fairytale that were told to us when we were young, the one where the tortoise won the race over the rabbit at the end and the one where the moral of the story is to ask you to be humble and should not be a snobbish little kid.

You remember that story? Haha. So ya, is that slow tortoise kinda internet. Sigh. It sometimes even got disconnected half way through surfing. Just like how the rabbit in the story would fell asleep by a shady tree.

You can’t even stalk people on facebook properly anymore. I mean, the photo albums just won’t load! Sometimes when I want to reply to a wall-to-wall message, I spent so much time typing an uber longggggg message, click the ‘Comment’ tab, after a while, the page suddenly went blank into a loading state for soooooo long and will never come back to the original page, and poooof, there goes your uber longgggg message. Super frustrating can!

So then I realize the only way for me to online, is to go to the eateries outlet in the mall that has wifi. But before that, I found out that the entire 1 Utama is wifi-enable! YEAYNESS cos it means free internet for me! Hehe. Don’t have to pay for some overprice coffee to get online.

Oh ya, forgot to mention, my house is walking distance to 1U, while my work place is just beside 1U. Hoho.

So yes, back to the wifi-enabled 1 Utama. While I feel utter happiness with this god-given facility, I also found out this wifi-enabled BLOODY CANNOT LET YOU GO ON FACEBOOK AND CONNECT TO MSN MESSENGER! LIKE SERIOUS SHIT. Those two are like my must-have when I go online! Like how a good tomyam should taste spicy and sour at the same time! Stupid shit.

Oh well, I guess the cheapskate way never really work. No matter what, you have to pay some overprice coffee or food to get access to your internet. OH WELL! That also explains why I cannot update my blog although I am supposed to have a lot of free time at home!

When I first reached here, I really couldn’t get use to living alone. I always thought I can handle this. I always thought that I’m that awesome-posome strong unbeatable Miss Independent that can do every single thing on my own. I can go places by myself, do things by myself, spending most of the time by myself and etc.

Repairing car. Haha.

The truth is, hoho, I am wrong.

Rewinding back to the first morning I was here, I woke up from bed, and I felt so lost. Like shit, this is not my home. What am I supposed to do next? Then I immediately texted, Yoan, who also came here for internship to meet up. Veen Dee was too caught up with work and already had some of her plans set, so she won’t be able to make it. None of us live really near each other, so it’s not so possible to pop into each other house anytime, not when I don’t have a car to myself.

Meeting up Yoan takes about an hour by public transport. =S

Yoan! Makan@Petaling Street

Then I realize, how much different it feels to be away from home living on your own. Now I really understand how Yoan, who’s from Indonesia and Veen Dee, who’s from Alor Setar, feels when they are in Penang. Like really understand.

When you are away from home, close friends that you know, suddenly become your 2^nd family. =)

@ Wondermilk cupcake shop!
Veen Dee said I looked fat in this photo. Can you even believe it? Since when she earn the right to comment that other people is fat?

Every night, when I reached home, there’s no one I can talk to. Haha. I’m super talkative person okay! I love to talk, besides why am I even in the communications field if I don’t! LOL. All my other housemates would shut themselves in their room, minding their own business. And I’m pretty sure talking to myself wouldn’t seem to be the best solution out of this issue. Haha.

So sometimes I would choose to go home late so that I don’t have to be confined to the four dreadful corners which I yet to feel belong. Which, is also dangerous since I have a half an hour distance from my work place to my house.

Oh yes, you didn’t hear my wrong, ‘half an hour’, is not a lie.

I didn’t know it was such a distance when I rented this place. My landlord told me the most 20mins. T_T and I bet, he made the judgment without having tried walking to my work place.

And as much as I have my undying passion in running, I never really like walking. If you ask me to choose between a 30-minute run or a 20-minute walk, I swear I will run. I know you might suggest: “ eh, then run to work la.”, oh, then with my sweat and 'scent' in my work clothes for the entire day is it? Don’t forget I need to wear running shoes to run too. So that means like, erm, running shoes with formal shirt and skirt?

No thanks, I don’t want to be the next ‘fashion legend’ after Lady Gaga. She can hold the title to herself, too much of a responsibility and limelight for me.

Things were really never easy, a switch in life, and the twitch in work. Especially when it comes to work, you are often boiled down with the only option: “no choice ma, work what”. When you started working for people, you will realize a lot of times, you will have to say this sentence. Okla, maybe you will use a more proper grammar to say it.

What more when you are an intern.

Although I’m really happy that all my colleagues never discriminate or bully me. I have really awesome colleagues that are nice to the max.

But when you are an intern, your job scope is an intern job scope la. That’s what I mean.

However, it’s already the 4^th week I am here. As time passes by, I’m learning and adapting to this new life of mine! I’m happier kid compared to when I first reached this stranger land of mine.

There are a lot more happenings that I want to share! And if I don’t end this post here, I don’t know when will I finish this post. You read already also sien what right, like cannot finish one. So this abrupt stop might make you want to read the next post more.

Hah. Bai.

I, Came and Left

I came back from KL for the weekend, thinking I would have time to tell you about

how I survived internetless at home;
how I survived having minimal or none mobile network at home (Yellowman forgot to follow me here. stupid shit.);
how my room key break into two inside the keyhole;
how I FINALLY START TO SLEEP EARLY EVERYDAY;
how I have to walk half an hour everyday to work and another half, back;
how working in a broadcasting company made me bump into local celebrities;
AND
how I came back actually to celebrate me birthday.
Though mini (and without birthday cake), but so warmth.

AND
how I have to go back so soon. Like now.
Like right after I publish this post.

Sigh. I love my mum. I love Penang. I am gonna love my job too!

I will update soon! I promise! This time around you can trust me. Hehe.

♥

Packing

So much to pack because it's just like moving in to a new place and need to include lots of OL clothings!

Thank god I have a shopaholic vain mum that has lots of hardly-worn OL shirts and I don't have to only own 5 shirts which I planned to only buy and wear the same the shirts every week from Monday to Friday. HAHAHA.

Money kept barking for cuddles when my mum and I were busy packing. So I geram tak boleh tahan, I put her into my laundry basket!

Oh well! She seemed to be coping with it and enjoying it anyway.

My luggage is so huge that it looks like I will be there for 3 years instead of 3 months.

It's hard to decide which outfits to bring to KL cos what if I feel like wearing it and I don't have it with me? Cos I kinda put everything in. Stupid shit vain pot.

Then I also can't decide which pair of shoes should be brought to KL cos what if my outfit can't match my shoes? So I brought a few pairs down.

I need to train for running in KL as well because I have a race on the 18th! So sports shoes confirmed have to be down.

So I practically brought my whole house that belongs to me down.

Then I realise I too crazy so I unloaded some back into my wardrobe.

Anyway my luggage size is still crazy. I won't show here later scared u to death. Hahahah.

So tomorrow is the day!

Where I leave home for the longest time ever; (3 months! First time! Don't laugh at me!)
Where I have to live independently; (I know a lot of you studying overseas have la, don't laugh at me again for experiencing it slower)
Where I will not have the convenience of having a car;
Where I have to be considerate not to sing out too loud; (Don't know how to survive this T_T)
Where I don't get the luxury to eat cheap and GOOD food like in Penang;
Where I (might not) get internet from home just like that;
But most importantly,
Where I won't have the warmth of having a mum beside me.

Lovin' my mum mum!
(Redang teaser photo!!!)

But I'm gonna experience a whole new lifestyle, being in a corporate environment and being in a big busy city!

Tomorrow's lunch will be our farewell meal before I return to my beloved island again.

(Actually this weekend only la, cos MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY'S THIS SATURDAY OMG HINTHINTHINTHINTHINTHINTHINTHINT)

As for now, I shall lift my head up high, stand tall and march towards a whole new experience that is, still, full of mystery and of course exciting! ;)

P.S I really really hope I can blog about Redang, but then you can ignore this sentence cos everytime I say this, everytime it doesn't happened. So, yeah.

Happee See-Ann-Why

Forgot to wish Happy Dong Dong Chiang to you! ;)

Gong Xi Fa Chai | Gong Hei Fatt Choi | Keong Hee Huat Chai

Which ever that sounds more familiar and warmth to you! ;D

I like Gong Hei Fatt Choi more but here in Penang is usually Keong Hee Huat Chai one! But don't care la, as long as it wishes me more prosperity, enough. Hehe.

Updates on what I wore for Chinese New Year up next! I want to show off to you my beautiful clothes since I didn't really get to parade my clothes outside this year.

Sigh.

Chinese New Year has changed. I hope it can go back feeling as hot and as warmth as how the scorching sun is outside.

Walao. Sweat non-stop in my beautiful new year clothes okay.

Gaaaa.

Gotcha

You must have expected this page hasn't been updated when you drop by once again for the umpteenth times.

You got it wrong! ;)

I'm finally updated this abandoned piece of land. Hmmm..Not exactly a piece of land, but oh well!

So, if you are concerned enough, you must have had wondered what/where/how/who/when have I been after my gigigaga post right below.

I have been good! So many things have happened! Yet, my blog is so silent. I'm sitting here trying to look for the sense of guilt.

Anyway, I have been wanting to write for many many times, but I was also demotivated (and distracted) for that many many times. Blame facebook, blogshops, msn, facebook, blogshops, msn. Hmmm. Why am I repeating them. Haha.

This past week has been an eye-opener for me, to see the true colour of people, to see the doubled faces some friends have and to look into myself for new discovery!

People can be so the awww-what-will-happen-to-me-if-I-hadn't-had-know-you kinda friend and at the same time, they can be what-a-bitch kinda friend. I am surprised I had not detacted it all along the way. Too brilliant of an Oscar actor I believe.

It's really a god-made opportunity of how I would see their true colour.

If I hadn't had said the a wrong thing at the wrong time to my close friend, if we hadn't had a cold war, if I hadn't had said another wrong thing to my another close friend, (Sigh. I know right. Seal up my mouth up man), I wouldn't had sat there and hear what the Oscar actors and actresses have to say.

Interesting conversation. I can see that they are putting in every effort, so that me and my first-cold-war-close-friend would not patch up and we'll not gel as well as we do now. Laughing hard inside myself, I think they are pretty silly to think that our friendship is actually, that shallow. It's funny.

Whilst hearing what they have to say, I was telling myself at the back of my head, how glad I am not having to hop around to find groups to fit myself in because I felt belong in every groups of friends that I am in. ;)

Although collision and friction, sometimes happens. Hah.

Hmmm. At this point of writing, I realise that I have actually no emotions towards what they have done, besides feeling funny. But feeling funny is pretty much an emotion, haha, anyway! I want to stop writing about them already, sien. Haha. The entire story is pretty much like that.

Anyway, after this I will blog about happy things already. (Maybe about my Bangkok trip! Bare in mind that, I'm not promising you anything okay, just in case I didn't blog about it again. hahaha.)

Give you a present for still being a reader of this blog. I really appreciate you clicking back to this page although you kinda know that it would still be the dusty gigigaga post. I proved you wrong this time! ;)

Anyway, your present!

Just like what a lot of other girls would do when it comes to webcam!
(Oh, I love my set of teeth if you still don't know =D)

Okay, I actually can't believe I just gave you THAT as present. Gaaaaaa. Now I felt silly. Haha.

*Shys*Hides*

After composing this whole post, I felt a great sense of self-satisfaction. It's been longgggggggggggggg since I felt the joy of writing, or putting down thoughts into words, even though I might not have an ocean of words to properly form them in alphabelts, and also in a very messy form of content.

But I will improve!

So, I think I should really write more, especially, blog more.

If that's a happy news for you. ;)

Sweetful Bliss.

I woke up in the morning, feeling the serene bliss in me.

I was shocked when I shifted my sight towards my table clock, it was nearly noon. And I am supposed be to up at 8am for a breakfast appointment.

But all that doesn't matter, for I know, the dream that I just made, just couldn't be anymore wonderful. I could see the big grin reflecting on my face eventhough both my eyes were shut. Closing my eyes help me reminised the moment better. =)

...........

I dreamt of him, discarding his past and finally found his trust.

I dreamt of him, seeing the brightest ray and popping the biggest light bulb.

I dreamt of him, making the suprise, appearing by my sight.

I dreamt of me, astounded, astonished; altogether, dumbfounded.

I dreamt of me, tears streaming by.

I dreamt of me, savouring the candy sweet as apple pie.

.........

I remember it, crystal clear, how the events roll out smoothly like the red carpet.

I even remember our tender conversation:

"Why are you here then?"

"Well...It's just because of you. =)"


.......Until I involunteerily opened my eyelids and realised: It was all just a dream. A sweet dream.

Never knew after so many days of sombriety, the obstacles finally fizzles through. Just the simple effort of ringing the doorbell, the special key twisted the right direction.

"I only allow myself one more night and that's it. I will see the Dazzling Sunshine the next morning."

And it was just too true.

Though things may present abstract; I never dread the reality of it. For all I know, my dreams may be coming true. =)