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美丽笨女人 by Coco Lee
Cover by meeee


Snippets of the competition while you wait for the awesome video to load. Heh.

Rehersals. Before the night starts.

Afternoon rehersals.

Awesome singer from my college!
1st runner up of the competition too.

Stage Prep.


The last bit for the eyes.

My new found friend, Esther!
2nd runner-up. ;)

When the long awaited night commences.

introduction of contestants.


Wonderful performance of the song 卡门
Winner of the competition yo! ;)


Vic Teo
Malaysian Idol Season 1 2nd runner up.
Head of judge of the competition. (I think)
And, I like this Doraemon backside tee! Haha.


Prize giving ceremony.
Geees. I am blocked.


And finally, End of the night.
PHEWWWW! Cos my heels were really killing me!

Cameraman happy also cos finally can rest! ;D

All photo and video credits to Nicholas, who came all the way from Singapore to picture down this event for me! Hah. ;D

Thanks a tonnes!

Oh ya, now you can scroll back to watch my awesome video already. =D

The result

Hoho. When you see there's no exhilarated status updates in facebook or an excited short update here, you kinda can guess I actually didn't win the competition.

Anyway, I really didn't win. Not even a bloody Top 6 which I aimed for. But the performance on stage that night was one of the rare few times that I felt really satisfied with.

To a lot of performers, that's what you want to achieve on stage, the rather hard-earned self-satisfaction. But to a contestant, things might not just be that simple. The fact that we need to impress the judges, kept knocking our door, reminding us now and then.

So sometimes, 'just be yourself' is easier said then done, especially when you want to win.

But really, I do not fancy the cliche people would tell me: Aiya, results doesn't matter as long as you did your best. Plus it's for the experience rightt.

Rightt. I know. I have a lot of this kind of experience already. So now actually I'm making use of my experience to try to win this competition, but oh well, sighh.

I mean I know I did my best I could, and DUH, I do expect something in return for something that I poured my heart and soul into. The results DOES MATTER to me. I want to win. At least at that moment of time during the announcement of results or even after that, it still does matter to me.

But maybe next day, the results really doesn't matter to me anymore la. Like seriously, do I really have to stop singing just because 3 PERSON think that I'm not the one to win this competition? You must be kidding me.

If Jay Chou took in all the criticism and insults and sulked with it, during his younger years, today you won't even know who's Jay Chou. Someone else would be the top earning singer in Taiwan today and nobody will scream hysterically to the name 'zhou jie lun'.

Anyway, not my first time losing. When I was younger, I used to cry and wail badly about my losses in a competition, especially when it comes to singing and short distance running competition. But, I have grown out of it now. It's when you accept the defeat, that you leap to the next stage in life. From a crying baby, the young lady has smile and confide herself about her defeats and certainly, her wins too!

If it is not for all my defeats and failures, I would not have sung like how I would today.

My feelings and thoughts aside, the next best thing that happen was a lot of my family and friends went over to support me! One even came all the way from Singapore! ;)

Okay, can spot your name here:
mum, sis + bf, nicholas, jelly, hui theng, shi-lir-ang, esTee, aaron, aunty chooiphung, ghee, yeoh, tiger, choon + wifey, xiao di, ken, seng and other people in the floor that think that I'm actually good! ;)

And also the some other sms and facebook good luck wishes and care! Really appreciate them! =D

If it's not for you people who believe in me, I would not have the strength to pick up myself during the times when I faltered.

during rehersals

awesome photo by Nicholas

Gazillion thanks. =)

Snippets of the Leo Idol

span >I senang-senang went to join the Leo Idol 2009 Region 1 (Penang) singing competition.

I was no. 46. The last to be auditioned.

When it was my turn, I took a deep breath, put on a smile, and walked in confidently.

There were 5 judges in there, 4 guys and a girl. One of them includes 8TV Personality Host, Baki Zainal.

After a brief introduction, I sang L.O.V.E to them, hoping as much to impress.

But to no avail.

Baki Zainal, voiced out first. "Erm...Fern right? Being the last contestant of the competition, we are gonna give you another chance, because seriously you were boring." Another judge (let's call him judge no.2) nodded the head vigorously.

Okay.

Judge no. 2, said: "Because this is an oldies right? You need to sing it very well." And then I can't remember what else he said.

Baki said again, "Ya, so we are gonna give you another chance to sing us another song."

And I had to sing my all-time song 'Sway' in the second attempt to impress them. Gees. I don't want to be missing this out and not going into the finals!

".....(Singing)....."

Baki: "Fern, do you usually listen to 'Light and Easy' (apparently Light and Easy plays more oldies than modern songs) ?"

Fern: " No."

Baki: " You know what, it's actually nothing wrong listening to songs like these, big bands, jazz. I like this genre. Is just that you have to have the personality to sing them. You need to have some special kind of voice to bring out that song. And the song like L.O.V.E, you just don't have the personality and the voice to sing it. I just want to say you are not black enough for the song."

(F.Y.I The original singer of L.O.V.E, Natalie Cole, is a Black.)

Judge no. 2: "Do you know the meaning of the song?" (as in Sway)

Baki: "Ya, like what meaning does the song bring?"

Fern: "Er...like....very seductive and er...come and.....dance...with me?"

Baki: "No, the meaning of the song is come and make love with me tonight. And you did not bring out the message or portray it out from what you sang just now."

Fern: "Wah...Like how am I supposed to portray the 'message' here?!"

Oh ya. Maybe something like that. Woot. *Drools*

And then everybody started laughing.

Judge no. 2: "So, ya, this song is seductive right. But from how you sang just now, we are not seduced at all."

Baki: "And Gees, there are 4 guys here."

Walao. How can they not be. I don't understand. Haha. Hui Theng said maybe they are just trying hard not to show their feelings. LOL. Hmmm..I see that rather true.

Judge no.3: "I actually like your voice. (Like finally! Something good about me. Haha. )But you have to polish it up and add more techniques to it."

So from what they said, I had a strong feeling that they don't fancy my performance or the entire process at all. I just bored them out. Shit. Die. Bye.

When I was done, it was long before the judges came out from the audition to announce the result in front of every other contestant.

"So the people who can go into the finals are: no. 36 Gini, no. xx, XXX, no. xx, XXX , no. 46 Fern..... "

I walked out the crowd in amazement. I really didn't think I got through. Cos seriously, I didn't receive good comments, how am I supposed to have confidence in myself?

Anyhow, I was super glad I made it through! =D (And the final is on the night itself!)

Finalists

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The Finals.

So the night finally comes.

The Top 11 finalists drew their lots, each got their turns, and mine was lucky no. 2.

When the clock strucked at the (I don't know what time), contestant no.1 went to sing. When she was done, the judges got so enthusiastic to kick start giving comments.

Judge #1: Harsh
Judge #2: Harsh-er
Judge #3: Hash-est
Judge #4: Harsh-est-est
Judge #5: (You get what I mean)

(The harshness sequence is not entire accurate, but you get what I mean.)

I bet every contestants were gulping a few times while wiping their sweat hearing what the judges have to say. And even before I can finish my gulps, it was then my turn up on stage. *gulps*

I think you might know what I sang.


Yes. English song.


Yeah. PCDolls.

Yala. "Sway" again la.

Ok. *Curtsy*. Thank You. =)

Let's hear what the judges have to say.

(For your info, this is one of the most interesting part of the entire show. It's too jaw-dropping to have had to hear what the judges commented on me. All quoted verbatim. Sentences in brackets are my self-talking inner thoughts. Get ready.)



Judge#1: Zenny Lynn (DiGi Celebriteen 2007 Central Region Champion)
Mmm..Ok, Fern. One thing I love about you is..your dress. ( -.- Okay. Thank you. I appreciate your comment VERY MUCH.) Again ah, you have ah, pitching problem. (What do you mean again? No one said I have pitchy problem during auditions.) And uhm, from this morning, uhm, from the audition I see you, ok, you have improved a bit. which, but, you overdo it, the stage presence and everything. Okay? Thank you.


Judge#2: Lion Alan Thoo (Head in-charged of Leo Idol)
Ok, uhm, diction ah, is S-w-a-y, not suey. You pronounced it 'jin nia suey ah'. Ok Fern, I know you took the extra effort to sing an English song (WTH do you mean 'an extra effort', you mean my English was so bad that I tried so hard to pronounce the English words in the English song and it sounded like a pain in your ears?). I'm not sure whether you are uhm, trying to impress to judges by singing an English song, just because the two of us here do not understand Chinese songs. BUT like what Zenny said just now, your actions are not natural. You're like doing it, a little bit, over? Do you know what's over-reacting? (Er. Ya. And no, I did not over react, I was just trying to tell you the message of the song, like what I was taught this morning during audition, come and make love with me tonight) Ya. It's like a little bit too much movements and it's not really natural la.

You have the voice, again you need to polish it up, everything is not out yet but ya, don't, don't over do it. That will NOT uhm get you more points if you 乔 (as in hiao/slutty) on stage. (WTH -.-)


Judge#3: Baki Zainal (Celebrity host for 8TV's Celebrity Chat or you know the Malay guy that can speak Mandrin that appears Media Prima channels )

(OH..here also comes the 'juice'! )

Before I say anything else, I would like to say that uhm, I want you to give yourself a big round of applause because you're very daring today. Seriously. You took over advice ya, but one thing still, I did not see Fern. (Oh, you mean you actually know me and can see me through but just one simple short audition?) Ya. I did not see Fern.

(Then I was curious and couldn't understand, so I asked Baki back: What is Fern to you then?)

Well, the girl that I saw this morning, did not try to seduce all of us in a sleeky black dress that were showing off her g-string. (WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH WTH! I remembered my face immediately changed when I heard that comment. I mean seriously, do you really need to tell the whole world, I mean whole hall that I'm wearing a g-string even though they might already know. WTH.) Okay? What I'm trying to send across, sweetie, is this: You can be a performer. I can see that in you, you know? In fact, I was waiting the whole process after the auditions to see your performance tonight and when I walked in I heard you rehersing, I like that. But you did today was you went overboard. You went overboard, you know? To a point where your dancing and all, uhm, did not match your voice. You sounded like the hippopotamus trying to take more breath under water. (Er. No. I didn't. I watched my recorded performance like hundred times already. I didn't sound like a hippo.) Okay?

But babes, hold on, hold on, I being serious here, I being serious, ya? YOU, can go every far. Just know where to keep your limits are, and be truthful to yourself. (What makes you think I am not being truthful to myself? Do you mean like a college student like me, cannot seduce people one is it? Hahah. And now that I tried so hard to seduce people, I was betraying my purest heart of a student?) Okay? Thank You.


Judge #4: Aesar Mustafa (Recording artiste from Gangstarz Season 2)
Hello! Ok, mulanya saya nampak kamu saya nervous, sebab beautiful. Sebenarnya, suara awak, uhm, besar tau. Awak keluarkan suara awak tetapi tak balance dengan uhm..I mean that macam, you tak merancang betul-betul pergerakan tu. I suka you bergerak sana, bergerak sini, tapi you kena merancang. Rancang jadilah cantik. Apa yang kita nyanyikan itu, kena seragam dengan steps, okay? Ok, thank you.


Judge #5: Mr Ou 欧老师 (Penang's renowned Vocal Coach)
好，也是跟他们同样的一些意见，就是今天晚上，你的这一个动作，比较刻意一点点。尤其是在第二段的时候，你的声音已经没有什么变化了，气很紧，也开始很喘了。到了第三段呢，第三段更喘，所以，变成你的声音在第二段，第三段过后，转弱了。然后跟你这一种，那种挑逗的表情，我相信还挑逗不到这些男生。 (-.- 因为那些没有被挑逗的不是男生。 Okla, nola, I'm just saying. Haha. You don't have to be seduced to be guy, but then it's hard not to be....LOL. haha. whatever. I actually rolled eyes right after he said this.) 还不够，你的年龄暂时还做不到这样子的神情。

Translation if you need: Okay, I'm just gonna give some similar comments that the other judges mentioned. Your actions, tonight, was rather made-up, especially during 2nd verse and 3rd verse, there were already less transition in your voice. Your breath was tight and you started to pant. At the 3rd verse, you panted even more. So actually your voice turned weak after the 2nd and 3rd verse.

And your flirtatious expression, I believe didn't mange to seduce the guys here. (-.- Because those that are not seduced are not males lo ok. Okla, nola, I'm just saying. Haha. You don't have to be seduced to be guy, but then it's hard not to be....LOL. haha. whatever. I actually rolled eyes right after he said this.) Not enough, you still won't be able to reach that level of expression at your age.(I'm nineteen for heaven sake. not 9. Why do you think I can't reach that level. -.-)


Anyhey, anyhow, when the result was announced, I wasn't in the Top 3 of the competition.


I reckon that was really a tight competition and I accepted the results openly. The 3 that won, really did deserve them, especially the winner, Teoh Gini. She's has powerful vocals and is definitely one future star to be. Amazing talent. She's also my junior from high school choir and I didn't find out such voice existed in our choir.

Singing her winning song, 'Why', a korean hit by Jang Ri-in. (Go youtube for her recorded performance!)

Gees. Mu junior and she beat me. Haha.

And I can only stand there and stare at the trophy in her hand that I really wanted. LOL.